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bardic_ladyOn the list of things I'm not allowed to do...
Title: Limerfick
Author:![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
dramaturgca
For:ailati
Rating: Gonna go R, but anyone who wanted to tell me different would be welcome to...
Summary: Academy fic, featuring a secret poet.
Author's Notes/Warnings: I have a secret weakness for wordplay. All wordplay. Puns, alliteration, haiku, word association, and...the subject of this fic. Dirty limericks. I am deeply, deeply ashamed. I would blamesparklegirl79, but the fault is mine. All mine. Thanks go to the aforementioned sparklegirl79 and corchen and fannore for encouraging me. Pretty sure this time I'm beyond insane...Possibly beyond redemption...
Feedback: *steels self* Yes. Good, bad, letters from parents telling me I'm a bad person...
There once was a Cadet, Adama,
Better hung than your average llama.
He frakked me for hours
His dick has great powers
The frakking Adama-a-Rama.
The first one appeared on a handful of leaflets in the hallway of the Cadet Barracks.
Lee Adama found one thoughtfully left on his rack, gritted his teeth, and threw it away on his way to lunch. He got through the lunch line quickly and swung into chair next to his best friend. Her brilliant wicked smirk was more than enough to make him nervous though and he turned to the younger cadet on her other side for help.
“Okay, Karl, what does she have on me and how can I get out of it? I’m not in the mood for whatever bullshit she’s cooked up this time.”
Kara Thrace, glowing with the glee of a new way to needle her best friend, cleared her throat and pulled out a familiar slip of paper, preparing to give a dramatic reading of the limerick.
“There once was…”
“Oh frak no, Kara. Leave it alone.”
“It’s funny. Really funny, in fact. Who’s the poet? I didn’t think Amanda Winters could put two sentences together, let alone make great art…And I didn’t know you two had broken up.”
“We haven’t. I’m seeing Amanda, I doubt she wrote this…crap, and I wish I knew who had so I could break their godsdamn neck.”
Kara looked amazed and amused. “Lords, who put a bug up your ass? It’s just a joke, dumbass.”
Hoping she was right, Lee applied himself to his sandwich, leaving Kara and Karl to debate the relative merits of the poetry.
**********************************************************************************
Lee Adama, he has a great dick
A really sensational prick
He moves in and out
I never can pout
I really love riding his stick!
This time, it’s infuriatingly papered on the walls of the heads in the simulator complex. One of the Lieutenants found it and took great pleasure reading it aloud during Lee’s Drive Mechanics class. Kara just about fell out of her chair laughing and Lee nearly stopped speaking to her entirely. It took a half-bottle of ill-gotten ambrosia to get them back on solid footing again and her promise not to mention the two poems again to seal the friendship. She kept her word scrupulously.
Two months went by with no sign of poetry. Lee broke up with Amanda Winters and started seeing Aliza Barelli from Navigation. Kara slept with a different guy almost every weekend. Karl kept them up to date on the gossip and made sure they both knew when there were underground Triad games to be had. Lee finally relaxed about the poetry and they all cleared their midterms easily.
*********************************************************************************
Two weeks before finals, a third limerick appeared, scrawled in eight or ten different handwritings, on every napkin in the mess.
I love Lee Adama's big schlong
It's round and it's thick and it's long
I ache for to suck it
I hope he will tuck it
Inside me, his fabulous dong.
Lee gave up entirely. Under no promise about the new poem, Kara razzed him about it constantly until they beat each other up in the ring and she took a break from the abuse for exams. And she put away her poetry notebook until the next time she needed a laugh.
(Author's Secondary Note: After my adventures in BSG dirty limerick, we determined that I am the penultimate, perky, partially prestigious, provisionally patrician, practically publically psychotic, previously paranoid, passionately pensive, pantomiming, play partaking, plaid wearing, piano playing, post-graduate post meridiem purveyor of pardonable, poorly printed, pang-inducing, praiseworthy, perfectly pressworthy, pellucid, parseable, pithy, poppy, porny poetry. And now you know why I must be stopped.)
Title: Limerfick
Author:
dramaturgcaFor:
ailatiRating: Gonna go R, but anyone who wanted to tell me different would be welcome to...
Summary: Academy fic, featuring a secret poet.
Author's Notes/Warnings: I have a secret weakness for wordplay. All wordplay. Puns, alliteration, haiku, word association, and...the subject of this fic. Dirty limericks. I am deeply, deeply ashamed. I would blame
sparklegirl79, but the fault is mine. All mine. Thanks go to the aforementioned sparklegirl79 and corchen and fannore for encouraging me. Pretty sure this time I'm beyond insane...Possibly beyond redemption...Feedback: *steels self* Yes. Good, bad, letters from parents telling me I'm a bad person...
There once was a Cadet, Adama,
Better hung than your average llama.
He frakked me for hours
His dick has great powers
The frakking Adama-a-Rama.
The first one appeared on a handful of leaflets in the hallway of the Cadet Barracks.
Lee Adama found one thoughtfully left on his rack, gritted his teeth, and threw it away on his way to lunch. He got through the lunch line quickly and swung into chair next to his best friend. Her brilliant wicked smirk was more than enough to make him nervous though and he turned to the younger cadet on her other side for help.
“Okay, Karl, what does she have on me and how can I get out of it? I’m not in the mood for whatever bullshit she’s cooked up this time.”
Kara Thrace, glowing with the glee of a new way to needle her best friend, cleared her throat and pulled out a familiar slip of paper, preparing to give a dramatic reading of the limerick.
“There once was…”
“Oh frak no, Kara. Leave it alone.”
“It’s funny. Really funny, in fact. Who’s the poet? I didn’t think Amanda Winters could put two sentences together, let alone make great art…And I didn’t know you two had broken up.”
“We haven’t. I’m seeing Amanda, I doubt she wrote this…crap, and I wish I knew who had so I could break their godsdamn neck.”
Kara looked amazed and amused. “Lords, who put a bug up your ass? It’s just a joke, dumbass.”
Hoping she was right, Lee applied himself to his sandwich, leaving Kara and Karl to debate the relative merits of the poetry.
**********************************************************************************
Lee Adama, he has a great dick
A really sensational prick
He moves in and out
I never can pout
I really love riding his stick!
This time, it’s infuriatingly papered on the walls of the heads in the simulator complex. One of the Lieutenants found it and took great pleasure reading it aloud during Lee’s Drive Mechanics class. Kara just about fell out of her chair laughing and Lee nearly stopped speaking to her entirely. It took a half-bottle of ill-gotten ambrosia to get them back on solid footing again and her promise not to mention the two poems again to seal the friendship. She kept her word scrupulously.
Two months went by with no sign of poetry. Lee broke up with Amanda Winters and started seeing Aliza Barelli from Navigation. Kara slept with a different guy almost every weekend. Karl kept them up to date on the gossip and made sure they both knew when there were underground Triad games to be had. Lee finally relaxed about the poetry and they all cleared their midterms easily.
*********************************************************************************
Two weeks before finals, a third limerick appeared, scrawled in eight or ten different handwritings, on every napkin in the mess.
I love Lee Adama's big schlong
It's round and it's thick and it's long
I ache for to suck it
I hope he will tuck it
Inside me, his fabulous dong.
Lee gave up entirely. Under no promise about the new poem, Kara razzed him about it constantly until they beat each other up in the ring and she took a break from the abuse for exams. And she put away her poetry notebook until the next time she needed a laugh.
(Author's Secondary Note: After my adventures in BSG dirty limerick, we determined that I am the penultimate, perky, partially prestigious, provisionally patrician, practically publically psychotic, previously paranoid, passionately pensive, pantomiming, play partaking, plaid wearing, piano playing, post-graduate post meridiem purveyor of pardonable, poorly printed, pang-inducing, praiseworthy, perfectly pressworthy, pellucid, parseable, pithy, poppy, porny poetry. And now you know why I must be stopped.)
