bardic_lady: (hanging on starbuck)
[personal profile] bardic_lady
Oilers lost. Suck.

Housemate and friends are playing darts. I'm a little worried that they'll put holes in the wall, but if they do it'll be their problem. On the pluses side, it looks like Housemate'll be out of town this weekend.

I'm finally trying to eat, even though it hurts like a bitch.

I'm really just generally off at the moment, from the nightmares, from the mouth problems, from the total lack of physical affection, from the unease about the housemate, from the not working recently...

When one is in pain, having to talk through it to defend gay marriage to one's ignorant housemate and friend doesn't improve things....
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January 2022

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I Cannot Hide What I Am

I must be sad when I have cause and smile
at no man's jests, eat when I have stomach and wait
for no man's leisure, sleep when I am drowsy and
tend on no man's business, laugh when I am merry and
claw no man in his humour...
I had rather be a canker in a hedge than a rose in
his grace, and it better fits my blood to be
disdained of all than to fashion a carriage to rob
love from any: in this, though I cannot be said to
be a flattering honest man, it must not be denied
but I am a plain-dealing villain. I am trusted with
a muzzle and enfranchised with a clog; therefore I
have decreed not to sing in my cage. If I had my
mouth, I would bite; if I had my liberty, I would do
my liking: in the meantime let me be that I am and
seek not to alter me.

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