Dec. 20th, 2005

bardic_lady: (svu)
A brief and by no means comprehensive primer on homonyms, compiled based on escapades in SVU fanfic:

If the ladies are grabbing each other between the ribs and the hips, that would be the waist, not to be confused with the waste. Grabbing someone around the waste is a very special kink.

Though this is a legal drama, flapping your wrist is a wave. To waive your hands implies that you don't have your hands anymore, which is both painful and problematic.

When you can't get to something fast enough, that would be a lack of patience. Attorneys and detectives rarely experience a lack of patients, that's reserved for doctors.

Your morals are usually connected to your principles, entirely different from your principals, who called you to their offices in school.

Your ears traditionally will hear. They may be here, but that's a different story...

A story is occasionally also called a tale. A tail is the hairy thing that comes out of the ass end of a horse. Therefore, unless your fic is about SVU characters with ass appendages, you might not want to call it "A Sorta Fairytail".

Traditionally, when we consume alcohol, we are drinking wine, because whine doesn't pour well.

Please, in this festive season, remember your apostrophes...
bardic_lady: (hate)
Peace on Earth, goodwill to fuckall.

I have fucking jury duty tomorrow. I must present myself in the main Criminal Courthouse in downtown Los Angeles at 7:45am. As near as I can tell, that's going to involve getting up sometime around 5am. Since my parents refuse to transport me, that means two sets of public transportation in the dark in LA. 'Cause I have a death wish. I also have cramps, which makes me an utter raving bitch right now.

January 2022

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I Cannot Hide What I Am

I must be sad when I have cause and smile
at no man's jests, eat when I have stomach and wait
for no man's leisure, sleep when I am drowsy and
tend on no man's business, laugh when I am merry and
claw no man in his humour...
I had rather be a canker in a hedge than a rose in
his grace, and it better fits my blood to be
disdained of all than to fashion a carriage to rob
love from any: in this, though I cannot be said to
be a flattering honest man, it must not be denied
but I am a plain-dealing villain. I am trusted with
a muzzle and enfranchised with a clog; therefore I
have decreed not to sing in my cage. If I had my
mouth, I would bite; if I had my liberty, I would do
my liking: in the meantime let me be that I am and
seek not to alter me.

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